if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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