he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There r osticjed everywhere
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
