I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
