i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
