Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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