fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if only i could text you this smell
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
