I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
