I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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