Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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