we have pet lesbian snakes
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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