ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm at about main and main street
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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