How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
