Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
