I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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