my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
