Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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