Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
