I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
