i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
