Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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