He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
