"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
