I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
