He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
