I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
