i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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