You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
