even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this just has baby written all over it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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