I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
