found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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