drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
