I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
