people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
