i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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