Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
