Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
