I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
bring money and cleavage
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
