Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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