I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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