Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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