It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
