I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
