The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
