no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im holly from the hills drunk
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
