You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I love having hate sex.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
