the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
