just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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