Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
