just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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