Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
