my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
